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- [Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg are playing Jenga on the couch.]
- Starfire: [Approaches the three wearing make-up.] Good afternoon, wonderful friends.
- [Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg scream and huddle together in the corner of the couch. The block tower collapses.]
- Beast Boy: Starfire, what happened to your face?
- Starfire: I applied the human facial cosmetics. Do you like them?
- Beast Boy: No.
- Cyborg: You look like a clown.
- Raven: Ugh! Don't come near us looking like that. [Creates a barbed wire and picketed fence around them.]
- Starfire: But, are we not the friends?
- Cyborg: Of course, we are. But only when you look good.
- Starfire: I was not aware the looks were so important.
- Beast Boy: They're everything!
- Cyborg: Looks are what people base every decision they make on.
- Robin: [Stands up from behind the couch.] Whoa! Whoa, whoa. Haven't you guys heard? Looks don't matter.
- Cyborg: What?
- Beast Boy: Is that true?
- Robin: Would people say it if it wasn't?
- Starfire: Then I do not look the hideous?
- Robin: Of course you do. [Places a bag over Starfire's head.] But so did the ugly duckling. [Begins reading the story.] The ugly duckling looks different from all the other ducks. All the poultry on the farm hassled him for looking weird so he ran away. Years past but he found no friends until he looked into a puddle and realized he had become a beautiful swan. Things really turned around for this guy, now that he was a swan. He got to hang out with other hot swans and eat cake, and his life was great. The end. So, you see, looks don't matter. [Throws book out the window.]
- Raven: Uh, I don't think you told that right.
- Beast Boy: If looks don't matter, how do you pick out pants?
- Robin: I get to know them first [Moves to the side and his pants come off.] to see their inner beauty. Observe. [Scenery switches to a table with two chairs where Robin is one side and his pants are on the other.] Hey, pants. Your favorite poem? [As his pants.] Oh, I don't know. I like the one about taking the dirt road with weeds.
- Cyborg: [Extends his head.] I like that poem too! Your pants have good taste.
- Robin: [Picks up his pants.] See? It's what on the inside that matters. [Starfire lifts her bag, but he pulls it back down.]
- Beast Boy: You wanna see my insides, mama?
- Raven: [Uses a hand from her soul-self to pull out Beast Boy's heart.] Better than what's on the outside. [Pulls back and it reenters Beast Boy.]
- Cyborg: [Whining and shaking Beast Boy.] My whole life I thought we lived in a superficial society that valued beauty above all else! [Drops Beast Boy.]
- Robin: [Throws confetti on Cyborg.] Great news! You're completely wrong.
- Beast Boy: Guys, knowing that looks don't matter has given me the courage to tell you all, that I'm going through a messamorsiphisness.
- Starfire: Excuse me?
- Beast Boy: A messamorphisisis.
- Robin: Huh?
- Beast Boy: A missmorphisimasis.
- Cyborg: I don't think that's a word.
- Beast Boy: A missamorsimephesis. You know, when you get all changey or whatever.
- Raven: Uh, what kind of change?
- Beast Boy: Let's just say, when you see me again, I'll look different. So just keep an open mind, okay?
- Starfire: That will not be the problem, friend Beast Boy, for however you look, we will always hold you dear in our hearts.
- Cyborg: Yeah, even if you look like clown face, here.
- Starfire: [Chuckles and removes bag, but Robin places it back down.] Huh?
- [A cocoon hangs in front of the television, blocking the show. Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire are seated on the couch. Cyborg turns off the TV.]
- Cyborg: Who put a giant croissant in the middle of the room?
- Raven: It's not a croissant, it's a cocoon.
- Cyborg: Oh... Who put a giant cocoon in the middle of the room?
- [Cyborg leans forward to touch it, but Robin, carrying a flamethrower, jumps in between it.]
- Robin: Hey, hey, hey! Get away from that thing! I've seen this before. It's an alien incubation pod. You're not going to lay your eggs in me. [Turns on flamethrower and screams as he burns the cocoon, filling the room with smoke.]
- Starfire: [Sniffs.] Mmm. My nose holes are enjoying the smoky, burned hair aromas.
- Cyborg: Gettin' so nice and toasty in here. [Leans back and takes out a drink.] Man, Beastie would love this.
- Raven: Where is he anyway?
- Cyborg: Remember, he's going through his megamorpenus.
- Starfire: Yes! Like the caterpillar entering its chrysalis and emerging as the fly of butters. [Releases a butterfly.]
- Cyborg: [Nods, then shocked.] Oh, no! [Rolls toward Robin.] Robin, stop! Dude, Beast Boy's in there!
- Robin: [Continues burning the cocoon, but his expression turns worried.]
- Raven: [Uses her soul-self to slap Cyborg away and grab Robin's head, lifting him up.] Robin!
- Starfire: [Yanks Robin from the cocoon.]
- Robin: Come on, I never get to use this thing. [Jumps toward the cocoon and sprays it with flames, yelling until it begins dripping out and stops.] Out of fuel. [Drops the flamethrower and turns to the Titans.] What were you saying?
- Cyborg: Beast Boy is in there getting all changey and stuff.
- Raven: It must be part of the life cycle triggered by his animal DNA.
- Starfire: I wonder what friend Beast Boy would look like when he emerges.
- [Raven swoons and imagine a muscular Beast Boy.]
- Beast Boy: Hey, mama.
- Raven: [In the muscular Beast Boy's arms.] Take me away, my man-insect prince.
- [Beast Boy flies away with Raven, ending the fantasy.]
- Robin: What was that, Raven?
- Raven: Uh, nothing. Nothing!
- Starfire: [Gasps.] Friends, the cocoon is opening.
- Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg: Ooh!
- [The cocoon opens and reveals an ugly, green moth-like creature.]
- Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg: Ew!
- Robin: Uh, Beast Boy?
- [The creature begins groaning and climbing up Robin's leg.]
- Cyborg: Nasty!
- Raven: Oh, barf!
- [The creature continues to groan and retch. Starfire swallows before she could barf.]
- Starfire: Hand me the machine of fire throwing. [Cyborg hands her the flamethrower.] I will end this.
- Robin: [Knocks the flamethrower off Starfire's hands.] No. That's our friend.
- Raven: But he looks so gross.
- Robin: What did I tell you? Looks don't matter.
- Cyborg: [Holding a lighter.] Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.
- [The creature groans and spits on Robin's face.]
- Robin: Nothing's changed. He's still our [retches] beloved teammate.
- [Robin vomits and hands the creature to Cyborg. He extends his head to the bathroom and pukes in the toilet. The creature is building something on Cyborg's back.]
- Raven: Oh, look. He's [retches.] building a hive out of his own fluids. Yay.
- [The Titans begin dry-heaving while the creature continues to build a hive. The alarm begins ringing.]
- Robin: Oh. Uh. The crime alert. [Retches. Goes underneath the cocoon to see the TV.] It's Killer Moth. Titans ... [retches.]
- [Killer Moth is riding a giant purple pill millipede in Jump City.]
- Killer Moth: Jump City shall fall before my might. [Laughs.]
- [Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven stand in Killer Moth's way.]
- Robin: Hold it right there, Killer Moth.
- Cyborg: [Activates a fly swatter.]
- Killer Moth: You'll never stop me, Titans. Um, who's the new guy?
- [The Titans turn to see the creature eating out of a garbage can. Cyborg grabs him with his extendable arms.]
- Cyborg: What are you talking about? [Retches.] That's my man, [Retches.] Beast Boy. [Extends his head through Jump City, the ocean, up the tower, and pukes in the toilet.]
- Killer Moth: [Jumps off the pill millipede and looks at the creature.] It doesn't look like Beast Boy.
- [The Titans begin clamoring.]
- Robin: How dare you?!
- Cyborg: Outrageous! [Lets go of the creature that scurries off.]
- Raven: So that's how you identify a person? By their looks? [Slaps Killer Moth.]
- Killer Moth: Well, how else am I supposed to do it?
- [The Titans clamor again.]
- Starfire: Perhaps by looking at his internal organs instead. [Vomits inside Raven's hood as the creature returns to the trash.]
- Cyborg: Yeah. Get to know the man.
- [The creature eats a cat. Cyborg detaches his head and vomits inside his body.]
- Cyborg: Ask him his favorite song.
- Killer Moth: Wait. Are you saying looks don't matter? That's like walking into a stinky bathroom and saying, "smells don't matter." They do. They really do.
- Robin: We don't believe your twisted lies, Killer Moth.
- Killer Moth: But people have been judging me my whole life by my looks. [Behind him, the giant millipede is rolling after people.] That's why I became a super villain in the first place. [The millipede unrolls.]
- Starfire: [Carrying the book.] It seems you do not know the story of the duckling who was displeasing to they eye.
- Killer Moth: Of course, I do, but he's only accepted when he turns into a beautiful swan and is surrounded by other beautiful swans.
- Raven: So you're saying ugly things need to be with their own kind?
- Killer Moth: That's not exactly ...
- Cyborg: No wonder we throw up [vomits inside his body.] every time we look at Beast Boy.
- [The creature spurts out some of its feces. Raven conjures trash cans for the Titans to throw up in.]
- Starfire: And since you are the gross, and Beast Boy is also another gross, [Gives the creature to Killer Moth.] you should be with each other.
- Killer Moth: Hey, wait ...
- Robin: [As the Titans enter the T-Car.] Have fun living together and being disgusting.
- [The T-Car drives off, releasing a cloud of smoke.]
- Killer Moth: [Coughs.] Those guys only think looks don't matter because they're all so hot. [Creature groans.] Yeah. Of course, Robin's got it going. They all do. But I'll show them a world where everyone looks the same as us. And only then will looks truly not matter. [Laughs.]
- [Killer Moth returns to his hideout and calls Robin on his phone.]
- Robin: Titans Tower. Robin speaking.
- Killer Moth: [Mimicking a female voice.] Robin, help. Killer Moth has taken me hostage and he's doing horrible things to me.
- [The side of the hideout explodes, revealing Starfire, Cyborg, Robin, and Raven.]
- Robin: Killer Moth.
- Killer Moth: Welcome, Titans. Thank you for responding to the emergency distress call that I faked. [Laughs.] Anyway. Let me introduce you to my newest inventions. The Bug Beam. [The invention rises beside him as he carries the creature.] It can mutate anyone's DNA. Soon, the world's population will be as disfigured as I am. [Laughs.]
- Robin: We'll never let you activate it, Killer M...
- Killer Moth: Too late.
- [Killer Moth presses a button and the Bug Beam zaps the four Titans, transforming them into moth-like creatures.]
- Killer Moth: Now that we're all hideous insects, looks truly don't matter ...
- Cyborg: Oh, you guys look disgusting. [Vomits in a bucket.]
- Raven: Uh, you look nasty too, genius. [Summons a mirror for Cyborg to see himself and vomits in a portal.]
- Robin: Argh. This is the worst.
- Starfire: How will I go on living? [Wailing.]
- Killer Moth: You know what? Forget it. I was going to mutate everyone in the world, thereby eradicating the unrealistic beauty standards imposed by society. [Hands the creature to Cyborg.] But forget it! I'm done! You'll never learn! I'm going to bed.
- Robin: Can we have the antidote?
- Killer Moth: No!
- [The Titans have secluded themselves inside the tower and are using the couch as a hive of sorts, surrounded by feces.]
- Robin: Now that we are freaks, we must live in a shroud of darkness.
- Starfire: The world must never see our twisted forms.
- Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, and Raven: Never!
- [The elevator dings.]
- Beast Boy: [Wearing a hat.] Yo, yo. Where's everybody at? [Turns on the light.]
- Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, and Raven: [Hiss.]
- Raven: Wait. Beast Boy?
- Cyborg: If that's Beastie, then who's this bug?
- [Cyborg turns, revealing the creature has made a hive out of feces on his back.]
- Beast Boy: Oh, that's Chuck. Silkie's friend. [Carries Silkie into the hive.] I said it was cool if he crashed here for the week. Later, bros. Hey ... why are you guys hiding in the dark?
- Starfire: Because we are now the nightmare creatures, unfit for illumination.
- Cyborg: Yeah, aren't you disgusted by us?
- Beast Boy: Let me ask you this, Cyborg. We still gonna play video games together?
- Cyborg: Yeah.
- Beast Boy: Raven, will you punch me every time I hit on you?
- Raven: [Makes a fist from her soul-self.] Absolutely.
- Beast Boy: Star, is your heart still full of love and friendship?
- Starfire: Indeed.
- Beast Boy: And Robin, are you gonna keep on pushing me to be the best hero I can be?
- Robin: Of course.
- Beast Boy: Well, then. It's like you said, bro. Looks don't matter. We're family no matter what.
- Cyborg: Hey, wait. You said you were gonna megamorpitus. You look exactly the same.
- Beast Boy: Nuh-uh. Check out my frosted tips, yo. [Takes off hat, revealing he added highlights to his hair.]
- Raven: Gross. [Vomits.]
- [The camera pans out to a nighttime view of Titans Tower.]
- Starfire: [Gasps.] Horrible. [Belchs.] So very horrible. [Vomits.]
- Cyborg: I can't even look at you! [Vomits.]
- Robin: Get out. Get out of this house!
- Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg: [Vomit.]