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"Look at Them Legs"
League of Legs
|This transcript is complete.|
- [The Titans are working out in their living room.]
- Robin: [Grunts and lifts weights.] I am crushing these curls. [Breaks a dumbbell.]
- Cyborg: Yeah, bro! [Makes his hands into a barbell.] Check it out! I'm gonna jack my bench. [Strains as he works out.]
- Starfire: [Using pec deck machine.] I am getting buffed up in the threeceps. [Yells and the weights crash through the roof.]
- Beast Boy: We're totally diesel, bros. [Performs a cable lat pulldown.] Come on, Raven, shred your bi's with us.
- Raven: [Squatting.] I worked on my upper body yesterday. Today is leg day.
- [Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy use dumbbells.]
- Robin: [Sarcastically.] Haha, legs. What is the point?
- Beast Boy: Seriously, no one even sees yours.
- Raven: Leg muscles need work, too. You guys all have chicken legs.
- Beast Boy: [With chicken legs.] Whatevs, upper bod is where it's at, man. Check these meaty biceps, mama. They're just so juicy. [Kisses muscles.]
- Robin: [Using dumbbells.] Nice!
- Cyborg: [Lifting a barbell.] Oh, yeah, let me get in on that. [Kisses muscles.]
- [Starfire kisses her muscles and Robin kisses his muscles. Raven watches as Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire all kiss their muscles.]
- Robin: Kisses for the gun show! [Kisses muscles.]
- [A siren appears next to Raven, wailing.]
- Robin: Titans! [Kisses muscles.] Crime alert. [Kisses muscles.] There's an emergency ... [Licks his muscles and then kisses.] in Jump City! [Kisses Cyborg's muscles.] Titans! [Kisses Starfire's muscles.] Go!
- [Robot walkers fire lasers in Jump City. One destroys a Bat-O's building and another kicks a building in half. A pink robot walker crushes a purple hatchback as the Titans watch from across the street.]
- Robin: Titans! This might be the biggest threat we've ever faced.
- Cyborg: Then it's a good thing we brought our big guns! [Kisses muscles.]
- [Robin kisses his muscles and Starfire kisses her muscles as well.]
- Raven: Hey! Can you guys make out with your muscles later?
- Robin: Oh! Right. To be continued. [Kisses.] Titans, go!
- [The Teen Titans charge at the robot walkers, but the pink one lifts its leg. They stop and use their arms to stop the walker from crushing them and scream.]
- Robin: Come on, Titans! Your guns are the only thing standing between them and world domination.
- Cyborg: This is when all those curls pay off!
- Starfire: We are the diesel!
- Raven: Guys! We have to lift with our legs.
- Beast Boy: [Groans.] But no one even looks at legs.
- [The Titans are crushed by the robot walker's foot and buried in the street. The robots continue to rampage Jump City to the night. The Titans sit in the hole.]
- Beast Boy: [Sighs.] We've lost everything.
- Cyborg: Our muscles [Kisses.] aren't strong enough.
- Robin: No! The Teen Titans weren't strong enough.
- Starfire: Then there is no hope.
- Raven: There is hope. Hope is alive in us. Because today, we will make a stand against evil. Today, we will plant our feet firm for justice. Today we will squat over our fallen enemies. Because today is a new day. Today is ...
- Lady Legasus: Leg Day.
- Beast Boy: Them legs!
- Starfire: Lady Legasus, you have returned.
- Lady Legasus: Your upper body muscles have failed. Only the power of legs can save the world now.
- Robin: But this threat is bigger than your two well-defined legs.
- Lady Legasus: You're right. I'll need ten.
- Beast Boy: Ten legs! You're gonna look crazy with ten legs.
- Lady Legasus: No. I'm gonna need your legs.
- Starfire: But we have the poultry legs.
- Robin: Yeah, and nobody even looks at them.
- Lady Legasus: Legs are the most powerful muscle group and if you follow me, we will be, too.
- Beast Boy: I'll follow those legs to the ends of the Earth, mama.
- Lady Legasus: Then your training begins now! [Hugs Titans with legs.] But be warned, it won't be a walk in the park. It's gonna be a run in the park, probably with some weights on. Now, let's shake a leg.
- [At a stadium, Lady Legasus leads the Titans in squats. Robin struggles to lift a dumbbell with his leg while Beast Boy is unable to use his legs to walk across monkey bars. Cyborg strains training to walk with weights and Starfire wraps her foot around an instrument. The Titans are all exhausted, but Lady Legasus blows a whistle and they train more. Robin succeeds in lifting two dumbbells with his legs, Starfire squeezes the instrument easily, Cyborg twirls the weights around his feet, and Beast Boy calmly uses his legs to walk across the monkey bars. They continue to train, running in the air, until they can lift each other up with their legs.]
- Cyborg: Those are some meaty thighs, bro. I wanna take a bit out of 'em.
- Robin: Your drumsticks are making me hungry. [Bites Cyborg's leg.]
- Beast Boy: I'm glad someone brought a couple of melons to this meat fest.
- Lady Legasus: You've done well, my friends. Your legs are fully jacked now. I feel our spirit has grown as big as our bulging thighs! [Thighs bulge.]
- Beast Boy: Dem legs ...
- Lady Legasus: We aren't the Teen Titans anymore. We are the League of Legs. Step forward, and receive your new League of Legs identities. Cyborg, you shall now be known as Thunder Thighs. [Cyborg dons a new costume.] Starfire, you are the Incredible Quad. [Starfire dons a new costume.] Beast Boy, you are now, The Calf! [Beast Boy dons a new costume.] And finally, Robin, you are now and will forever be known as Captain Cankle! [Robin dons a new costume.]
- Lady Legasus, The Calf, Thunder Thighs, Incredible Quad, and Captain Cankle: Let's kick it!
- [The League of Legs hold a meeting in the Legasus Headquarters. Lady Legasus stands in front of a screen while her teammates sit around a leg-shaped table.]
- Lady Legasus: As you can see, the enemy has spread across the entire eastern portion of Jump City. [Points with her leg.] Here, here and here.
- Incredible Quad: This is very worrisome, Lady Legasus.
- Lady Legasus: What do you mean, Quad?
- Incredible Quad: Their positioning indicates reinforcements are on the way.
- Captain Cankle: [Grunts and stomps foot on table.] We can't let that happen! We need to stop them now!
- Thunder Thighs: But how, Captain Cankle?
- Lady Legasus: Like this! Calf, throw me that pen. [The Calf uses his meaty calf to toss the pen to Lady Legasus, who picks it up with her foot and writes on the board.] The enemy has focused their resources to fortify the upper levels of the command center, leaving the foundation vulnerable. We, the Legs, need to extend past this line and then curl back. That's where we flex our muscles.
- The Calf: Are you crazy? A frontal assault?
- Captain Cankle: I like it. They'll never know what kicked them.
- Lady Legasus: Okay, everybody in, on three, one, two three ... Legs!
- [The Legasus Headquarters shoots off like a rocket and lands in the Pacific Ocean outside of Jump City where the robot walkers continue their assault. The League of Legs overlook them.]
- Lady Legasus: This is where we make our stand. And then squat, with our knees at a 90-degree angle. [The Legs squat.] Hold it, hold it! Keep that form! Okay, Legs. Let's kick it. [The Legs launch into the air.] Leg Lock! [Wraps her legs around a robot, destroying it.]
- Thunder Thighs: Quad Crusher! [Kicks a robot in the head, destroying it.]
- The Calf: Calf Cram! [Runs off a building and kicks through several robots.]
- Incredible Quad: Thigh Throw! [Trap a robot in her thighs and throws it.]
- Captain Cankle: Cankle Crack now! [Slams his foot on the ground, creating a hole underneath a robot.]
- Thunder Thighs: Those are some cankles.
- The Calf: Yeah. Captain Cankle!
- [The pink robot walker raises its legs over Captain Cankle. Lady Legasus pushes him out of the way and stops the attack by raising her legs.]
- Lady Legasus: Can't do it! My two legs ... Not enough.
- The Calf: [Slides under the leg, holding it up as well.] Ow! Make that four, mama!
- Thunder Thighs: [Slides under the leg.] Six!
- Incredible Quad: [Slides under the leg.] Eight!
- Captain Cankle: [Slides under the leg.] Ten!
- [The League of Legs strain underneath the leg. They push and the robot walker flies into the air and explodes.]
- Captain Cankle: Now that's what I call maxing out a rip! [Kisses leg and laughs with Incredible Quad, Thunder Thighs, and The Calf.]
- Lady Legasus: We did it.
- Incredible Quad: The Earth is saved.
- [The League of Legs cheer and kiss their muscles. The Calf chews on his calf, but stops and looks around.]
- The Calf: So what's next for the League of Legs, Lady Legasus?
- Lady Legasus: It pains me to say it, Calf. But our next move is to disband. [The Legs gasp.]
- Captain Cankle: But these cankles saved countless lives.
- Incredible Quad: Our legs are unstoppable.
- Lady Legasus: Exactly. No one should have this kind of power. I worry that in time, our thighs will become threatening. Our calves corrupted. The sun has set. Leg Day has come to an end.
- Captain Cankle: Say it isn't so.
- Lady Legasus: For the good of the world, we must sit around and watch TV until our glorious legs waste away. We must become the Teen Titans again. [Returns to Raven.]
- The Calf: No! Before we do, just one last time.
- Raven: One last time. [Transforms into Lady Legasus and her thighs bulge.]
- The Calf: Dem legs!
- Jump City citizen: Oh, my quad. Those legs. ♪ Look at them legs. Look at them legs. They're amazing! Look at them legs. Look at them legs. They're amazing! Walk strong, kick hard. Let me see you lunge. Let me see you lunge. Let me see you lunge. Look at them legs. Look at them legs. They're amazing. Look at them legs. They're amazing! Look at them legs. Look at them legs. They're amazing! ♪